Unlike many of my peers who work with women in midlife, I coach both women and men. I enjoy the variety of clients, and after years of coaching, I’ve learnt a thing or two about how they differ.
While many of the goals men and women want to achieve sound similar – losing weight, feeling stronger, having more energy – the way men and women experience their bodies, their habits, and the change process is often very different. These differences are not just emotional; they’re biological, hormonal, and psychological, and it’s important to acknowledge and work with that to get results.
Coaching women in midlife
Women often come to coaching already carrying years of conflicting responsibilities and judgment. They’ve spent much of their lives looking after everyone else, working, doing the bulk of the childcare, carrying the domestic load, often putting their own needs last. As they move through their forties, many feel physically tired and emotionally depleted.
The women I work with usually know a lot about nutrition yet feel disconnected from their bodies. Food is rarely neutral; it’s tied to guilt, control, comfort, and long histories of dieting and shame. I also find many women under-eat without realising it, they over-exercise, and push through exhaustion because they’ve been conditioned to believe that effort equals worth.
On top of this, women in their forties experience fluctuating oestrogen and progesterone, increased cortisol sensitivity, and changes in insulin response – all can make fat loss slower and less predictable, even when they are doing “everything right.” This is one of the most frustrating realities for women, and one that is often misunderstood or dismissed.
Coaching men in midlife
Men, in contrast, are less likely to seek support, so they often come to me later in life. Early warning signs such as weight gain, fatigue, poor sleep, or low mood are commonly ignored until they begin to interfere with work, confidence, or they experience a health scare.
When men do reach out, they often want clarity, structure, and certainty. They tend to ask for numbers, calories, targets and deficits. This isn’t wrong. For many of the men I have worked with, numbers feel grounding and reassuring. It gives them a sense of control and progress.
Biology also plays a significant role in these differences. Men generally have more lean muscle mass than women, largely due to testosterone. Muscle tissue is metabolically active, meaning men often burn more energy at rest. They also don’t experience the hormonal shifts as women do.
The emotional differences
Emotionally, the differences between men and women continue. Women are more likely to internalise blame. If something isn’t working, they assume it’s their fault. They feel they lack discipline or consistency. Men are more likely to externalise the issue – work stress, time pressure, and age. Both responses are understandable, but both can keep people stuck if they’re not explored.
The difference in how men and women handle emotions also affects the different ways they approach food. Many women use food as a way to cope with emotional overload, a moment of relief in lives that feel constantly demanding. Men are more likely to eat out of routine or convenience, while using other outlets such as work, alcohol, or withdrawal to manage emotional stress. Men are also far less likely to openly acknowledge low mood, anxiety, or depression. These feelings are often minimised, intellectualised, or pushed aside, which can delay real change.
Coaching men and women
What I find both need in coaching is permission. Women need permission to eat enough, permission to rest and to stop striving for perfection. What men often need is permission to slow down, to reflect, and to ask for support without feeling weak or inadequate.
Coaching works best when all these differences are respected rather than ignored. The same nutrition advice will land very differently depending on someone’s hormonal landscape, emotional history, and sense of identity.
Men often see changes in body composition more quickly when they adjust nutrition or training, while women may need a more nuanced, supportive approach that prioritises stress regulation, nourishment, and recovery. Men’s and women’s bodies respond to a very different internal environment, which means a different approach when coaching them.
Health after 40 is not about forcing the body to behave the way it did at 25. It’s about understanding how it works now and responding with compassion rather than pressure.
The most powerful transformations happen when people stop trying to fit themselves into rigid systems and start working with their bodies instead of against them. When women begin to listen rather than control, when men allow themselves to engage with what’s happening beneath the surface, and when both understand that health isn’t something to conquer, but something to support, true progress can be made.
That’s what tailored health and wellness coaching really offers: an understanding, guidance, and a way forward that actually fits real life.
Looking for Tailored Nutrition and Health Coaching Over 40?
As a Nutritional Therapist and Health Coach, I support men and women over 40 who want to improve not just what they eat, but how they feel, function, and live.
If you’re over 40 and want a personalised health and nutrition plan that supports your goals and fits your lifestyle, I’d love to help.
👉 Book your free discovery call today and take the first step towards better health, energy, and balance.
Your health is your greatest asset – let’s make it a priority!