We’ve all got our own personal relationship with food, how we eat and what we choose to eat. However, the abundance of choices, processed food, snacks, and trends means temptation is everywhere, making eating well harder to control and leading to feelings of guilt.
If your relationship with food is one regularly based on will power, you are maybe someone who spends the week trying to be good with your food choices, only to find yourself binging at the weekend.
During your busy work week you keep meals light, maybe skip lunch, cut out the carbs and say no to foods you enjoy because you’re trying to eat right for your health and weight.
You’ve got through the week, then the weekend arrives, and without that busy schedule, your choices feel harder to manage. You find yourself grazing, eating past comfortable fullness or reaching for foods you’ve avoided all week. By Sunday evening, you’re frustrated and promise yourself a stricter start on Monday.
If this feels familiar and you’re in your 40s or 50s, then take it from me, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed or need more willpower.
The good news is, the answer is not a stricter weekend, it’s allowing yourself a less restrictive week.
What does eating “right” actually mean?
If you’ve followed me on socials, you’ll know that I eat out regularly, enjoy a variety of foods, have the odd treat and still keep my health and weight front of mind.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to eat well and look after your health. Yet becoming restrictive, obsessive about it or taking the ‘all or nothing’ approach rarely works.
Eating “right” doesn’t mean eating as little as possible, it means making sure you’re getting enough of the right nutrients and consuming a variety of foods which are as fresh as possible.
Restriction can make food feel more urgent
Restriction rarely works, it usually just makes the whole process harder and the food noise louder. If bread, chocolate or other favourite foods are only allowed from time to time, the weekend can begin to feel like your one opportunity to have them.
Friday night comes about and you’re tired, you’ve had a long week. Your guard is down, you’re hungry so you allow yourself that forbidden snack, yet the guilty feelings start right away. Then, well, seeing as you’ve already broken the rules, you might as well get a takeaway… and the cycle begins.
You may find yourself thinking, “I’d better have it now, because I’m starting again on Monday.”
The problem here is, that sense of a deadline can make it harder to eat in a way that feels comfortable or relaxed.
It isn’t necessarily the food that needs fixing. It may be the rules around it.
We all know eating isn’t always about hunger. Eating can also be connected to stress, tiredness, loneliness, boredom or finally enjoying a moment to yourself.
Weekend activities can involve pastries from the bakery, lunch in the local eatery, take aways and afternoon treats. Food can offer comfort and pleasure and you don’t need to feel guilty about that. It only becomes a problem if food has become your main way of switching off or offering comfort after a busy week.
If this is the case, it can help to notice what other needs aren’t being met.
• Are you actually hungry?
• Do you need rest?
• Have you spent the whole week looking after everyone else?
• Would some company or time alone help?
• Are you bored?
The reality is, physical hunger and emotional needs often exist together, that’s very normal.
So how do you navigate all of this?
Start by making weekday meals more satisfying
Stop thinking about cutting back, restriction doesn’t make anyone feel good. Instead, look at whether your meals are giving you enough of the nutrients your body needs.
Look at what you eat throughout the day. Start with breakfast or lunch, whichever you are prone to skipping.
Aim to include a source of protein, carbohydrates, vegetables or fruit, and some fat. Give yourself enough food to feel comfortably satisfied, rather than making the meal as small as possible.
Protein can help make meals more satisfying, but it isn’t the solution to every eating struggle. The amount you eat overall, your meal timing and your enjoyment matter too.
If you’re constantly getting hungry between meals, maybe you need to eat a bigger portion? If that makes you feel uncomfortable, you could be someone who needs to eat little and often. Healthy snacks are ok; hunger isn’t a test you need to pass.
Keep some routine at weekends
Your weekend doesn’t need to look exactly like your working week, yet a little consistency can still help.
If you’re eating out in the evening, there’s no need to skip breakfast or lunch. Arriving extremely hungry can make it harder to notice comfortable fullness and enjoy your food at a relaxed pace.
Make room for foods you enjoy
I don’t like the phrase “cheat day”, which a lot of ‘diet plans’ use. Calling it cheating suggests you’ve done something wrong. That can turn an enjoyable meal into guilt, followed by another attempt to compensate or comfort the uncomfortable feeling.
Instead, practise including favourite foods into your week. This may feel unfamiliar if you’ve followed food rules for years. Start gently, the aim isn’t perfect eating. It’s less urgency, less guilt and more flexibility.
After a difficult weekend, return to regular meals
If you’ve eaten more than felt comfortable, you don’t need to punish yourself. There is no need to be overly restrictive or skip meals on Monday as this can restart the same pattern: restriction, intense hunger, overeating and guilt.
Return to your usual meals, the regular ones with all the nutrients you need. Notice what happened with curiosity rather than criticism.
You might ask yourself:
“Did I eat enough during the week?”
“Was I unusually stressed or tired?”
“Was I treating the weekend as my only chance to enjoy certain foods?”
The answers can help you choose one useful change, rather than another set of strict rules.
You don’t need to start over every Monday
If your current approach leaves you feeling deprived during the week and out of control at weekends, trying harder at the same approach won’t help.
Start with something manageable.
It’s easier to make one change at a time.
• Eat lunch consistently.
• Make one meal more nutritious and satisfying.
• Stop saving calories for dinner.
• Give yourself permission to enjoy food in the week.
Looking after your health includes how you feel around food, not just what’s on your plate.
If you regularly feel unable to stop eating, experience significant distress or compensate afterwards, speak with your GP or a qualified professional experienced in emotional eating. You deserve support, not stricter food rules.
Need a practical place to start?
My free 14-day protein challenge includes recipes and guidance to help you add more protein to everyday meals.
It’s a starting point for putting meals together, not another set of rules or a treatment for emotional eating.
You can find the PDF guide here on my website.